This story tells how three bad eggs go straight.
They didn't respect women,
but now they really know how to love women.
Of course, you don't have to be too serious when you watch this film.
The reason is, this will
never happen in real life.
Hello everyone, in the still of the night,
it always is the best time for bad men to appear.
Now, we have Tom Kan.
Now, he is being interviewed by a famous DJ.
The guest of tonight is a famous stylist, Tom Kan...
All beautiful girls, celebrities and super models...
want him to touch their hair.
Hello, Tom!
How are you?
This is a very special introduction!
You have described my career like...
It seems that I touch women to make a living.
But I am telling the truth!
As being the most famous stylist in town.
All famous stars want you to do their hair.
Except you, you are famous too!
It's good to see you!
You have excellent skills in cutting hair,
and you've honey lips too.
No wonder so many girls fall for you.
You can't put it in that way! At least you didn't.
- Me? - That's right.
I am a nonconductor, I won't easily be flattered.
What is a nonconductor?
I mean, I won't fall easily for those playboys.
You can't put it in that way...
Well, what should I say?
You can say... I am philanthropic.
If you say a playboy is a philanthropist,
how about a playgirl?
Bitch!
I am just kidding!
Just kidding!
You're really something!
Not anyone can make it!
A playgirl is a bitch?
Well, let's back to our topic.
Can you tell different girls' characters
from touching their hair?
Sure, I've been in this field for ages,
I think...
Nice to meet you, my name is Tom Kan
I am good at grasping chance and
flattering girls with my honey lips.
My target tonight is
this beautiful DJ, Kitty.
I heart that she's tough.
But I don't believe in it.
- Miss Kitty. - What?
Your guest, Tom,
left the chocolate and flowers for you.
And a letter too.
Hello!
You haven't left!
May I send you home?
No, thank you.
When will you let me set your hair?
There will be a chance.
- Bye! - Bye!
This is the second bad egg.
He is a typical rustic fellow.
Fred is great!
He led the canoe team of
the Oxford University for 4 years!
He got 4 champions when he was studying in the university.
Okay.
You can see lion dances
in several Chinese films,
Bu in many traditional villages in the New Territories,
they are still keeping this traditional dance.
Say, you can tell from behind.
They are having a severe fight.
They believe that, if they can get the "Green",
it will then bring their village good luck.
What is "catching green"?
Let me show you now.
You jinx! Don't touch me!
I am playing the lion dance! Get lost.
It's great!
Michael...
Don't come over me.
If you touch me, you'll bring me bad luck.
I just want to have an interview with you.
Just stay where you are, okay?
Look! I am your girlfriend!
Now you won the race, can't I interview you?
It's because you are my girl, so you should stay away from me.
Well, just take me as an ordinary reporter.
May I interview you?
Wait.
Chu! Come next year.
Objection! I don't think Fred is qualified to play the lion!
Why?
He isn't a local resident.
He looks more like a foreigner!
Chu, mind your words!
Do you suspect his blood?
Let me tell you,
I married his mom when
I received football training in England.
He is 100% my son, a local resident.
But he speaks better
English than our dialect!
Fred, speak something in our dialect.
Don't you think I can't say that?
I grew up here!
I can speak very good dialect, bastard!
Bravo!
You're something!
You touched me, that's why I have been in bad luck!
Don't touch me, or I'd beat you!
Is it my mistake again?
The men in this village are fellows of male chauvinism!
You want to be his woman? So you must accept it.
Piggy...
Girl, isn't this piggy lovely?
Yes, it is. Isn't it for sale?
Actually it is not for sale,
if you really like it, I'll consider of selling it to you.
Please!
Piggy...
Baby...
Mom, I want this piggy!
Do you want to sponge on my daughter?
She is only five years old!
Madam, please don't mistake me.
I am not interested in your daughter,
in fact, she is interested in my piggy.
This is a pet shop, isn't it?
But why do you sell pig here?
It's trendy to raise pig now, madam.
Look, this is cute! Little girl,
do you think so? Want to take it home?
Do you own this shop?
Yes, but I won't sell
any pet the client asks for.
Why?
I would miss them, you know?
If I find the client not kind-hearted enough,
I will not sell them pets no matter how much they offer.
You're special.
Do you want to know the reason?
In fact, I am an orphan.
My father and mother died when I was small.
I grew up with two cats and three dogs.
I didn't treat them as pets,
I treated them as my family.
In fact...
I am a lonely person.
I always want to chat with someone...
When I saw you and your daughter...
I am really touched by your close relationship.
Come on!
I always want to sing a song...
I want to sing a song to my mother.
You can sing to me, I want to hear your song, come on!
- Do you really want to? - Come on.
I always want to sing it to a mother.
I want to sing this song to a mother!
Mother is the kindest person in the world!
Mother...
It's so warm! Mother...
The phone rings!
Mother, please wait for me.
Answer the phone first.
Please don't go.
I'll be back soon, mother...
This guy is so pitiful...
Hello...
Bo, this is CiCi,
we'll have dinner with my parents tomorrow...
- I am now working, it's all right. - Don't forget the appointment.
All right, I'll call you.
- Do remember it... - Okay, bye!
What a trouble!
Since you are so nice and you like this piggy so much,
I'll sell it to you, with a special discount.
Thank you.
Please treat it nice! I just take it as my son.
I'll treat it like my son too!
- Don't worry. - Come to play mahjong if you have time.
Sure...
- I'll bring it together! - Let's have a chat.
See? He sells in a very special way,
He always tries to win others' sympathy.
This wicked person will be punished soon.
These three bad guys will meet their judgment soon.
I am the top stylist of
most high-classed salon in Hong Kong.
Most of my clients are celebrities
and super stars in the city.
So? It's all right.
Don't touch it...
Don't touch, it's specially designed, it's all right.
All right...
Excellent!
Really?
Perfect! Just trust me.
You seem to...
Miss Kitty, welcome.
Have you booked any stylist?
I come here for Tom Kan.
So, please come with me.
I have that kind of feeling.
I'm sure I can make it!
- Welcome! - Hi!
What idea do you have in mind about your hair?
I have to listen to the specialist's advice.
It's really nice! You don't have to cut it at all.
No cut is needed?
Yes, it's really nice.
- Really? - That's right.
But you are a little bit thin.
Are you free tonight? May I treat you to dinner?
But you are busy, do you have time?
You okay, I okay.
- Tom. - What's the matter?
Pinky, the lady boss of the drugs store is here for you.
But she is Brad Pit's client.
She wants you this time.
That troublesome woman! Ask her to make sure the appointment first.
What a rude comment!
So just take a look at her.
Got it?
Pinky, how are you doing?
You look great!
Tom, don't you want to serve me?
No, but you are Brad Pit's client.
He is my buddy, it'll be embarrassing for me to serve you.
I am a consumer,
I have right to choose my stylist.
But I am fully booked today, I am sorry.
You've come the right time, she is here for you.
Pinky!
How are you?
It's nice! You don't have to change your hair style.
Wash your hair first.
I'll show you something.
Take a seat.
How is your Rosemary?
Have you made it? She is really tall!
Yes, she is tall.
She wins the top seat in my chart.
The 98th one! Two more to reach a hundred.
Who did you sleep with last night?
That's my day off.
I was interviewed by a DJ.
You mean Kitty? She is cool.
I don't think so, we had a good time.
Did you...
Nuts! You must have feeling before doing it!
By the way, her hair is nice.
It's not always blown dry, it's straight, not permed or colored.
Why are you so serious?
Nuts!
You look so serious!
I just mean... I like her hair.
My brother!
This is my best friend, Brad Pit.
We share a common interest...
You know it already.
I think I am dreaming.
Why?
It's lucky for me to stay with you.
Look, they don't believe it either.
Am I horrible?
No, you are just cool.
Really?
Usually, a gifted female scholar is always frigid in sex.
What do you think?
I don't know.
It's already 11, I've to go back to the station.
Never mind, have another glass, come on.
Cheers!
Where is your girl? Why don't you bring her here?
Bring a girlfriend to a bar is just like...
taking a lunchbox into a restaurant.
I am not a lunchbox.
No, you are not, but you are rice crust.
What do you mean?
You just don't want to waste rice crust at the bottom of the pot.
Let's go for girls.
Go.
It's corny to bring so many things to a bar.
Let's go over there.
Move!
That's Kitty!
Kitty...
Hello, I am your little fan.
You are so pretty!
Little fan? How old are you now?
I am thirty, you can't tell, huh?
I look young, don't l?
I love your programme, "Kitty's Sky".
It's really wonderful.
So you can't hear it tonight.
It's shit! I can't hear it tonight, poor me!
So, can you sign for me?
Sure!
Man, can you lend me a pen?
It's not good to lend out a pen easily.
Why not sign on my palm, just use your finger, please.
Thank you!
- Thank you! - Enough.
It's fragrant... thank you.
I want your autograph too.
I've got to go now.
Let me send you back.
No, it's okay, you just stay with them.
- Okay, I'll call you. - All right.
According to an expert of love matters, his name is Fred...
I just can't remember his name.
Once he said, if you don't dump the old one, the new one won't come.
Let me give you a ride.
- Call me. - All right.
Take care!
- Bye! - Bye!
Michael, I am at the door of the bar, why can't I see you?
How do you know I am here?
Bo told me that.
I'll come to pick you up.
Hurry up!
She said she was mad at me! But now she comes to me!
Bo, did you remember what happened on the 12th of last month?
On the 12th of last month? I can't remember anything.
We made love on that day.
Well, it's not the first time, what's it about?
You didn't wear condom.
So what?
I am pregnant.
Why are you so lucky?
I consulted the doctor...
All right...
I'll be responsible...
No problem! It's all right.
Take it.
What do you mean?
Go to Shenzhen! Sure you have to go there for abortion.
A hundred?
Sure, how much do you want?
It's enough for taking train.
Go, hurry up.
Go!
Bastard!
CiCi...
Keep this with you...
- CiCi! - CiCi...
Why is your girl crying?
Bo, did you bully her again?
I didn't, I am a responsible person.
Please learn how to
respect woman, okay?
If you want me to sacrifice a forest for a tree...
No, it's just a small and skinny tree...
I would never do it.
I agree!
I love milk,
but I can't just raise one cow.
That's right.
Who do you think I am?
You are always my girl.
Girl? Come here, I want to talk to you.
I don't mind the male chauvinism of your village.
But you must respect my job.
I am a reporter, when I work,
please take it seriously.
Don't ever take me as your girlfriend when I work, okay?
Let's talk about it later.
No, promise me now.
I'll ask CiCi to come back.
You are useless!
I'll ask CiCi to come back.
What?
- Forest! - Hunting... Go hunting!
- May I introduce to you... - Go ahead.
- Nancy. - Nancy, how are you doing?
- Lucy. - Nice to meet you...
- They are sisters. - Sister?
How are you doing?
I would like to give you some advice.
If you cut your hair...
Say, the hair on the temples is down,
you'll look thinner and prettier.
Hello!
So you are Tom Kan?
Want a game?
Okay.
Please give me some tooth-picks.
Miss, your hair looks nice.
Want a dance? Come on.
Are you tired? Let's go out for a walk.
Come on.
"Hotel"
What do you think?
Do you understand?
What does that mean?
It's a brand name of napkin, I am on the rag.
Not today, make it next time, okay?
What a coincidence!
It doesn't matter, let's have a date next time.
Want a picture?
- Sure. - Come on.
Ready... one, two, three...
Got it tonight?
Where is she?
This is what we have today.
- Cheers... - Congratulations.
Slow down, come on...
Maybe it's fate.
The three of us have felt like old friends since we first met.
If you are drunk, don't drive.
Be careful!
On this Saturday?
Well, let me send you home, okay?
Good, don't forget the date.
Sure! See you later.
Bye!
You look gorgeous!
Were you happy last night?
Well, it's fine.
How about your gifted female scholar?
She is working now.
People said she is a lesbian.
None of your business! Just fix your 99th girl.
I don't have any problem at all.
- Can you make it? - Sure!
It's a bit out focus, but it's okay.
What are you doing?
Help me to serve a client, okay?
Who is it?
That's Pinky.
Come on!
She likes handsome devil!
She likes any kind of man! Did you sleep with her?
Same old words, I won't tell you.
- Okay? - Okay!
- All right. - Thank you, my buddy!
Tom
I just want
you to set my hair.
Sure, no problem!
And...
What is it?
I want you to dine with me tonight.
You're fully booked tonight.
Yes, I am fully booked, I am so sorry!
Forget those appointments!
It's very important!
That's right, it's Faye's concert.
The last show! I may have to be on stage, I am sorry.
What a coincidence!
Fatty, are you free tonight?
Yes.
You dine with her, okay?
Wash your hair first, go...
Hurry up!
Objection to "Two Village-heads System"...
Objections!
It's ridiculous! There is no way!
Objections...
Down with "Two Village-heads System"!
Auntie, why do you wear this?
Whenever we have a meeting here,
all women must wear it.
Cause we have no say at all.
How ridiculous it is!
But in this village, it's the world of men.
Objections...
Calm down first...
We have all the representatives here,
we just want you to express your opinions and suggest solutions...
The "Two Village-heads System",
is presented by the Heung Yee Kuk and the government.
It may be executed in our village.
Niu Ping-chi, don't betray our village.
Otherwise, you will have no descendant.
Hey, mind your words!
Please leave! Don't shoot right here.
Michael, you promised to respect my job.
Now I came here as a reporter.
Women have no say right here, so you must wear it.
What?
You should respect her, she isn't a resident here.
But everyone knows she is my woman, right?
That's right...
So she is a member of this village then.
That's right...
You must wear it.
Okay, now I want to break up with you.
I am no longer your girl now,
so, can I do the interview?
Matt, please roll.
Get lost!
- Don't push me, I am now working. - Get lost.
Don't push me, I'll report to the police!
Go ahead! I don't care.
Shut up, our meeting must go on.
Poor Fred, you can't even handle your girl!
What a shame! Look at me!
You should have brushed him off for ages.
He wasn't like that when he studied in UK.
But you said you're breaking up with him.
Don't you want to keep your words?
If I didn't say so, how could I have finished my job?
You don't want to keep your words?
You're helpless!
I can tell he will call me tonight.
Let's go...
Son, I don't want to be the village-head anymore.
No way! Dad, you have to stand on it.
Time's different now, the world has changed a lot.
Seeing you treat your girl that rudely,
I don't agree with it too.
She embarrassed me,
how can I face the people like that?
Give Ruby a call.
No, she will call me.
She is always mine.
People said a stylist makes money easily,
and every stylists has an expensive car...
Now, I believe in it.
No one knows how hard it was when I was a junior.
This is a kind of appreciation.
I love driving, especially driving fast.
I'll forget all kinds of troubles and worries.
Do you have worries?
Yes, of course! Except worries, and...
Sometimes I am lonely.
I heard that you are...
Are you a lesbian?
I don't like women.
But I haven't heard of your romance.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Ex-boyfriend.
We broke up three years ago...
when we were in USA.
After that, I came back to Hong Kong and worked in the radio.
Are you happy now?
Kitty is a Scorpio.
If a female Scorpio
tells you her love history,
that means she trusts you absolutely.
And she is willing to develop further relationship,
Including...
Your friends told me many things about you.
Did they say me a playboy?
... always fool around?
I am a typical Gemini.
A Gemini is always easily classified as a playboy.
Actually I am not.
But I am too generous in love.
I love the new ones, but I won't dump the old ones.
Back to "Kitty's Sky" again.
How do you feel tonight?
Why didn't you call me? Don't you know me anymore?
Are you Annie?
Why don't you come to have your hair cut?
A woman in love always has sweet smiles.
When will you dine with me?
- At my home, okay? - Sure!
I come to pick up my things.
She is one of my girlfriends.
But I seldom take them as my girlfriends.
I just take them as my visitors.
New girlfriend?
What new girlfriend?
I said I don't have any girlfriend at all.
So, how come I have a new girlfriend here?
New arrival?
What?
Newly arrived girl.
Don't be nosy.
Why didn't you give me a call?
All right, I'll call you later.
Call me for tea, okay?
Sure...
I mean it.
Got it.
What have you taken away?
That's none of your business! Just mind your new girl!
I don't have any girlfriend at all.
That's right...
- I'll call you! - All right.
This playboy doesn't notice
his judgment is approaching...
This is my first time to play mahjong at a pet shop.
Have you tried that before?
Sure! We have.
Bo, what will you do if you lose this game?
I'll pay the debt with my... body!
No way!
Answer the phone first.
Hello, cousin Fred?
What are you doing now?
I am now playing mahjong with three women.
I am winning, of course.
Sure I can go out for fun with you later.
See you later.
- Hurry up. - Coming...
Who is it?
It's me, Tom.
Do you still remember me?
Kristy!
So?
I have something to tell you, come out please.
Sure! Time?
See you at the old place at ten tonight.
Sure...
- See you later. - Bye!
Who is Kristy?
She is another visitor in my life.
Who did the hair for you? Look!
Your boss did.
You are in love with a DJ, aren't you?
So you asked my boss to do your hair?
I bet you don't have time.
Let's break up.
What?
We haven't been in love, why breaking up?
If you really want to break up...
Goodbye kiss.
- Bye! - Bye!
Can you give me a ride?
Give way please.
Come on.
Give me a ride please.
Kristy is always a practical person.
Once she asks for a break up, she means a break up.
But she didn't send me home, she dropped me at the petrol station.
What a pretty girl!
She is so pretty! How is it?
- Want to woo her? - Go ahead...
Cigarette please.
What's up? The expert of love once said...
Hey, just cut the crap.
That's tonight's target!
Thank you!
- What a coincidence to see you here! - Hello!
Where are you going?
I have just bought something at the convenient store.
I bought condoms.
Try it, it's of strawberry flavor.
New product, want a try?
You love blonde, so save this to me.
What? I like this girl.
Sit closer.
Do you know the end stop of this minibus?
Who cares! We'll follow you.
Right?
Take a look at the sign board first.
To hell?
Driver, have you made a mistake? It's a bus to town, right?
Driver, can you hear us?
Cousin, there is something wrong.
It's like hell.
Are we dead?
Yes, you are dead, and now you are in hell.
Shit!
What the hell?
Yes, this is hell.
This is the lift to hell.
Follow me please.
Keep your balance.
Who are you?
I am the
servant of hell.
How about that beauty?
She is busy.
I know you! You are the driver.
You're great! You know me!
Cut the crap! Let me introduce to you.
This floor is for the rascals.
Let me introduce them
from another angle.
What are they doing here?
They loved killing when they were alive,
So after their death, they want to slash and kill too.
But what are they doing here?
They are slashing for nothing.
You have that too.
Yes, I have two, do you have any?
Yes, I have.
I can make it this way.
Can you show us something else?
Why not a movie?
- Movie? - Sure!
Well, let me introduce
that beauty to you again.
- Love this idea? - It's great!
Come on!
You're back!
It hurts!
We don't know each other well.
What are they writing?
They were paparazzi when they were alive.
Now they are being punished.
Tongue punishment?
Those who committed crimes
will be brought here.
Well, I know him!
You've watched enough.
Which floor have you chosen to live?
Should we be in hell?
You've committed several crimes when you were alive.
For those who are male chauvinistic,
for those who cheat women's sympathy,
for those playboys who cheat women's love...
All of them must go to hell.
But, can we bargain?
We don't think we deserve dying.
The king of hell's order can't be changed.
I beg you!
- We are nice guys. - We'll change to better...
No...
The hell is full.
What?
No seats for them.
I said, no seats for them.
They will be rejected.
All right, bye.
- How is it? - What's up?
You're lucky.
Now you can go back to earth.
Yeah!
But you'll still be punished.
- Just a small punishment. - What punishment?
You'll know it when you're back on earth.
We're drunk.
It's a weird dream!
What are you doing?
Why are you in my bed?
Come down!
What's up with you?
What are you doing in my bed?
Don't harass me!
I didn't.
Help...
Why are you here?
Are you sick?
What are you doing here?
Nothing... It's gone!
What did you say?
It's gone! My birdie...
What are you doing here?
Look at yourself...
Check your body...
What's wrong?
Oh my God!
I've watched for an hour, it's gone.
Oh, my birdie...
Do you have a magnifier? Please lend it to me.
Where is my birdie?
Stay calm!
How can I stay calm?
I didn't say anything.
What did you say?
I said nothing! Oh my birdie!
I have no birdie too! But I didn't say anything.
Here I am, morons!
Look down!
It's me!
The messenger from hell?
Don't stay too close.
Do you think you are lighter now?
Damn it! Return our birdies to us.
Otherwise, how can we court girls?
You haven't changed!
Okay...
I feel something now...
You're punished. I'll be back!
- No! Tell us please... - Don't go, stay...
Hey, sir...
Come out!
Sir, please...
What should we do now?
You are not sincere at all.
Look! It's shit! It doesn't work.
I am sincere enough! What do you want from me?
What a deep shit!
No, l...
I want to buy a porno magazine, it may help.
Wait for me.
I am leaving too.
I can't imagine such ridiculous thing
would happen on us.
Do they all know that?
Wonderful?
Why?
What do you think?
I treat you as my buddy, you take me as a fool?
Now you are famous!
- Did you do that? - Yes.
- Did you steal my photographs? - Yes.
- Dare you say it again? - I did it.
Now, everyone knows our salon.
It's a great promotion, Tom!
This is my personal matter.
If you want to scold someone, just scold this scum.
I've already apologized.
Everyone knows you love fooling around.
Now you are on the magazine cover.
Many clients called to complain.
They asked whether I am an agent for gigolos or not.
I am sorry.
Kristy is now the share holder of this salon.
And, she is my girl.
You'd better behave.
I can't imagine that I would be betrayed.
Brad Pit sold the pictures
to the magazine...
with the cover story too.
Kitty is the most innocent one.
She is a celebrity.
This is my fault!
I do want to explain to her.
But her living place is surrounded by paparazzi.
What should I do?
- How are you? - How are you?
I am Fung!
Nice to meet you!
Are you here for Kitty?
She won't be back! Don't waste time.
Thanks for you, she is now so famous.
Many people are waiting for her!
There are many reporters!
I really want to thank you.
Her programme is stopped, now I am taking her place.
The programme is named "l am hearing your voice".
It's on air tonight, listen to it, okay?
- I am leaving! - All right.
Watch out!
Here comes Fung...
Fung, do you hear anything from Kitty?
Tell us something...
I don't know where she is now.
But I have just seen her boyfriend at the door.
Let's go for him...
He's gone! You can't catch him up.
What do you think about Kitty's story?
Tell us something...
No comment...
Now I know she is so hot in bed.
Michael, I don't understand one thing.
Why were you so nice to me in UK?
But now, you've totally changed.
I can't stand you being male chauvinistic!
Let's break up.
Our love is over.
Men, come and get your pork.
One by one! No hurry!
Should we go?
What do you think?
But we have no dicks, we don't deserve pork.
Never tell others.
Fred.
Uncle, we are men.
I know it pretty well.
But I want to tell you something.
You have a capable girlfriend.
Ruby?
Yes, she asked
10 councilors to support us.
They all go against the "Two Village-heads System".
But she is a woman.
Remember what Dang Xiao-peng said?
No matter what color is the cat, it's good if it can catch rats.
No matter men or women,
those who can help our village are capable persons.
My son, time is different now.
Men must respect women now.
I asked Ruby to be
the consultant of our village.
Take this piece.
Have some meat. You're so nice!
Thank you, consultant.
It's weird! Why are you so polite to women now?
Remember this wish-making tree?
Yes, when we returned from England,
you were not that disgusting as you are now.
Do you know what tree is it?
What tree?
This is a wish-making tree.
This tree...
So make a wish, and then your wish will come true.
What are you doing here?
I am going to make a wish.
Don't throw it, let me do it.
I bought this for you, let me make a wish for you.
I made a wish yesterday.
I hope we can start all over again.
I wish you would come back to me.
This tree won't help your wish come true.
How do you know that?
If it did, our relationship wouldn't have been that worse.
I promise, I'll always listen to you.
I have no say, okay?
You will be the boss, I'll be the slave.
Okay?
No!
You'll be the Empress, I'll be the eunuch.
That sounds good.
Your Highness!
Hi!
I am free tonight, how about you?
What a pity that... I can't.
I beg you, please return it to me.
It's getting bigger...
I wish I could get back my birdie as soon as possible.
Since I have lost my dick,
my life becomes colorless.
I feel even worse!
My girl wants sex, but I have to stay away from her.
Stop thinking sex, bastards.
After I've become a woman, I started to pity on them.
It's so easy for a man to go pissing, just stand and piss.
But for women, they have to take trousers off & clean with tissue.
Now, I have to queue up before I really need to piss.
That's a cockroach!
It's disgusting!
Over there!
Since I have lost my dick, I have become a chicken.
I am scared too.
Me too.
We used to scare the girls by such trick.
Now I am scared by cockroaches, too.
What's wrong? Are you afraid of cockroaches?
You're back!
He is back!
We are no longer men! We have no dicks.
That's right.
We've suffered enough, please return our dicks to us.
I beg you...
You want to become a man? It's simple.
- How is it? - Please tell me.
Find a woman
you love within a month,
then, tell her that you love her.
- Just so easy? - It's a piece of cake!
I love you.
What are you doing? Are you nuts?
Auntie, we are friends.
I love you...
- Miss, I love you. - You sex maniac!
No, I mean, I really love you...
Be good, come on! I love you.
I love you...
You're an adult already!
How can you say such nonsense to a granny?
- You sex maniac! Get lost! - I am not a sex maniac!
I have got some feeling...
I feel something... so say it...
I love you.
No way!
I love you!
Again, be passionate, please.
Are you rookie?
Let's start now.
All right.
Hey, say something.
Tom!
Wait! Wait...
Let me say something...
Don't come over, wait...
She is here for me, I'll try first, okay?
If I can't make it, you'll take the next turn, okay?
All right.
Tom
Tom!
I love you.
What a coincidence!
I love you, too!
Wait...
What is it?
Just wait...
Okay, go...
Where are you going?
I love you, too.
You?
You seem to need nutriment much!
Get lost!
I am a foreigner, I am strong!
I love you! Can you say you love me too?
You are handsome looking.
But I don't like foreigner.
Get lost! Tom!
Here is our guest,
a man without dick!
Hey, it's you again!
- Sure. - You really did a big trick on us!
What?
You did a big trick on us!
This isn't a trick at all.
You'd better think something
to handle the wolf out there.
You know? Most of the eunuch are insane.
You call this insane? No way!
Let me tell you, your real trouble comes next.
Would you please kill me?
Why? Let me tell you...
You'll experience something a woman experiences once a month...
- Period? - Period.
- Me? - That's right.
Tom...
Hold it...
Stay where you are!
Help...
No!
Let me tell you how much I love you...
No! I can't do it, help...
You are a eunuch! You have no dick!
Why? What's wrong with it?
Miss, excuse me, I want to buy...
That...
N... Kin!
- What? - Thank you.
He's returned.
Got it?
What's wrong? You bought this kind of napkins?
What's wrong?
It's embarrassing to tell a female saleslady... Look!
What a trash!
You're trash!
Don't you think you're not trash?
I am not trash!
Why don't you try?
Miss, excuse me...
I want to buy...
Na...kins.
I see!
Okay, thank you.
- Why took you so long? - Got it?
She said this is the best brand.
Environmental protected, economical...
What a trash!
This is washing powder!
You're useless!
Why don't you try?
I can't read Chinese.
What is written on it?
Come on, throw it away!
No! You can wash your clothes with it, it's not cheap.
Cut the crap! I've been long waiting for you.
It's not that embarrassing to buy napkins for your girl.
We have different brands here, for day and for night.
Which one do you want?
You're so nice! I want all.
- Really? - Yes!
- $75 please. - Fine.
- You are a model boyfriend. - Thank you...
Take it.
I can't take them all, take some for me please.
Damn it! Who threw this damn thing on my face?
It brings bad luck to me, I still have to gamble!
So what?
Bastard! You bought napkins
to bring you bad luck, that's fine,
but don't drag me down! I want to gamble later!
It's not weird for a man to buy napkins!
Can't I buy it?
So what? Isn't it weird?
Do you need it?
It's not weird at all!
Sure we can use it.
I tell you, women suffer
a lot when they are on the rag.
If it doesn't come, it'd bring a big trouble instead.
They may give birth to bastard like you!
Women suffer a lot, say a severe stomach ache,
they lose much blood each time, you know that?
That's right.
You are all insane!
What a good lesson to such scum!
It's right to scold at this scum!
They blame napkins when they lose money! It's ridiculous!
Why don't they just blame themselves?
Can you hear that?
You mother used many napkins
before giving birth to you, bastard!
You'd regret for it!
For your wife!
You're insane!
- Get lost! - Go!
Serve him right!
It's great!
- Yeah! It's great! - Thank you!
- Am I great? I spoke so loudly. - Me too.
But I am panicking now.
You're so brave!
When I am on the rag,
I won't fine life funny,
instead, it brings me loneliness.
Now I understand it's not easy to be a woman.
No matter how hard I tried to say "l love you" to women,
what have lost is still missing.
What should I do?
Is it true?
Do you think it's a play or drama?
Be serious.
You can't say "l love you" to any woman in the street.
You'd find a woman you really love.
Say "l love you" to her sincerely, that will work.
You'd have told me earlier!
Pal, I have got to go now!
In this gesture, right...
Right, in this gesture...
You'd better leave!
- Don't move. - Got it.
One, two, three...
Thank you.
Say "l love you" to a woman I love?
I must find her.
Fung.
Why do you date me this late?
Don't you have to be on air?
Now I can control everything!
I just want a day off now!
Since I've replaced Kitty
to be on air at 1 1pm,
the advertisement time is fully booked.
I am sure I am on the top three of the rating chart.
So I want you to work for us.
Fung, let's reform for this field, trust me.
You are always my best friend.
Joe, I will do anything for you.
- Really? - That's right.
But I would like to tell you one thing,
I can't do anything you ask for, I am not a gay.
Sorry!
Excuse me...
Let's call Fernando and fool him, okay?
Do you have his number?
Sure.
Who will talk to him? You or me?
- I'll talk to him. - Okay.
Do you feel sick?
You know, it's a life show.
Replacement? Who will take your place now?
Do you want me to replace you?
Damn it! Why don't you take it seriously to your job?
- What do you want to explain? - Is Kitty there?
She is on leave now.
Tom, can't you find her?
Hi!
Are you Tom Kan?
Remember me? Fernando, the manager.
How are you?
I am sorry for the last interview by Kitty.
It really brought you a big trouble.
Never mind, anyway...
Are you here for Kitty? Come to my office, let's have a talk.
Kitty is a nice girl.
You'd treasure her.
Many people think we are less influential than
the TV stations.
They're wrong! Look at me, see?
I win the "10 most trendy persons award" every year.
It's because
I am really influential.
Thank you! Welcome.
Come here please.
Sir, l...
Take a seat and keep quiet, I'll start the weather report.
Tomorrow, it'll be cloudy and with showers.
The temperature now is 24 degrees, humidity, 78.
I just want to know where Kitty is...
Tom,
let me be frank.
I want to hire you to be our DJ.
Now we are on air.
Our radio is really influential.
If you want to look for Kitty,
you can find her through the air, I guarantee!
I...
Surprise...
Isn't it a surprise to hear my voice now?
But the next one who speaks will give you another big surprise!
We have the lady killer, Tom Kan, here to speak to us.
Tom, welcome.
Tom, can you say something to us?
Hello!
It's Tom! Can't you recognize his voice?
His voice is so attractive!
Tom, what do you want to tell us tonight?
I came to look for Kitty, I am not here to be a DJ.
Let's talk whole-heartedly now.
Your search for Kitty is so romantic.
Now, you are in love with her, right?
Are you playing hide
and seek with her?
You nuts! I came here...
Tom, don't cover the mic.
So the audiences can't hear your words.
There are lots of calls waiting for Tom.
What do they want to talk to Tom?
I'm Fai.
Although I don't know where Kitty is, I envy you so much.
You are handsome and romantic, sure the girls would fall for you.
People said you have honey lips.
Is that right?
May I know who you are?
Angela.
Who is Angela?
Angela is my sister, the girl who has been cheated by you twice.
You bastard!
I wish you'll get AIDS and die!
You nuts!
What a caring fan!
Next call please.
What do you want to talk to Tom?
This is Angela.
Are you the sister of the guy who just called?
No, I am Lily's sister.
Bastard! You cheated me and many others...
Tom seems to be specially fond of girls named Angela.
Let's answer
the next phone.
- Bastard! - You nuts!
Tom has a Japanese fan too.
He is really a popular guy.
Let's hear a song first.
When we are on air, we'll lock the door.
It is to avoid any DJ to escape.
Come on, I am here to find Kitty,
I'm not for an interview.
Tom, why do you look for Kitty?
I have something urgent to tell her.
What is it about? Tell me.
I have no time to play with you.
I have something urgent to tell her, you know that?
Tom, what is it about?
Why not tell us now?
I don't know how to start it, anyway...
What do you want to say? Just go ahead.
I want to say "l love you" to her.
What else?
Well... actually I want her response.
I want her to say "l love you" to me too.
It's romantic! You love me and I love you...
It's hard to tell!
No matter what, it's sweet.
Time flies, this is the end of our show now.
If you are interested in scolding Tom.
Call tomorrow at the same time.
Thank you...
Nuts, are you sick?
Tom, thank you.
What for?
I really want you to work for us.
For some of our DJs, we can't even rely on.
See, our radio has always got high rating.
When you were on air, all the lines were full.
No matter who you are looking for,
you want to look for Kitty or Angela, anyone...
I am sure our radio can help you.
Help me, okay?
I can't find any better guy to host this programme.
You can take it as a channel to find Kitty.
Sure you can find her, okay?
Take 2 minutes to prepare
how to handle the reporters outside.
You...
I've got to get changed, many reporters are waiting.
Bye!
Unlock please.
Don't forget to smile to the press...
That's Tom Kan!
Hello, how are you everybody?
You can ask me any questions.
This is our new DJ,
he will host programmes for us.
Tom, what made you host the programme tonight?
He is moved by my sincerity.
Our radio station always wants creations,
great successors and heroes.
Where is Kitty? She's disappeared
after the exposure of the romance.
She goes for further studies.
She thinks she must study more
to handle the press.
Is it the case?
Tom, people said you're a playboy.
How do you view
your romance with Kitty?
Yes, tell us something about it.
Yes, say something.
He really was a playboy.
But it's history.
Now he's living a new life. The prodigal son returns.
Do you want to know his future plan?
So listen to his programme.
Hey, have you noticed one thing?
What I am dressing is
the most trendy fashion of this year.
The most trendy one.
- Once more, okay? - Tom Kan...
Maybe you can hear it again...
Don't stay too close, okay?
The most fashionable jacket, got it?
Finally, I work in the station.
The name of the show is "When men know women".
I hope to express my apology
to Kitty through the air.
I always think
I understand women.
Now I live like a woman,
then I understand
women's mood swings...
will be caused by weather...
How can you treat women like this?
Think about your mother!
I haven't seen such a scum!
My programme is very popular, it's because...
I let women voice out by giving advice from the angle of women.
I reserve a part for myself.
It is to tell the story of Kitty and me.
I'm sincere, so it's touching.
I believe that Kitty would hear it one day.
What's the good of that bitch?
If you don't come back, what should I do then?
Come in first...
Come in! Come on.
You are shameless!
Our story has already been covered in the gossip magazines.
Why do you have to tell the world through the air?
Do you want the whole world to know it?
You are shameless!
Have you considered my feeling?
I do consider your feeling.
I know you are mad at me.
So I tried to win your forgiveness.
You said you didn't mind my history.
But in future, I really want your name to be found in my history.
Come on, smile to me.
Smile...
Look at me.
I love you.
Come on, say "l love you" to me.
I...
Come on, don't be shy, say it to me.
Come on! Look at me first.
Say "l love you" to me. Come on.
Why don't you say it?
You...
No, you should say, "l love you".
"l love you", follow me.
Never mind,
say in English, it's okay.
Say it... Hey, stay! Listen to me...
You must slap on this side too. Say it before you leave!
You can say it and slap on
my face at the same time.
Say it.
You know? It's hard to let a woman say "l love you".
It's not an easy matter.
You haven't gone to bed yet?
...I try to play a song...
You've drunk much wine, haven't you?
Yes, I drank a lot of wine.
Did someone court you?
How do you know that?
Matt proposed to me.
Did you say yes?
You know? I'm so confused right now.
But, don't worry, you're always my first priority.
We've known for ages, we should...
I always love you...
You can't marry others, okay?
So, let's see whether you'd be responsible or not.
What?
I want sex...
No way...
No way!
I've got a stomach ache, I want to stool...
How are you, Michael?
Michael
- Hello! - Ruby?
- Matt? - Yes, speaking.
Why aren't you home?
Do you miss me?
- You really miss me? - Yes, I do.
I've finally seen you!
Can I help you?
Can you return my dick to me?
You should ask your girlfriend.
Ruby?
She is the only one to help you.
How?
You'd figure it out yourself.
I'll give you more instructions if necessary.
I do want to be responsible.
I do want to have sex with you.
But I have no dick.
Hold it...
It hurts...
Hang on...
Caesarian operation or not?
I don't know, no doctors have ever experienced this.
Doctor, it's killing me.
Mr. Niu, are you ready?
Will you forgive me?
Before I die, can you tell me...
I will forgive you, I love you.
I love you too.
Push...
Congratulations!
You've given birth to a piece of barbecued pork.
What made you so depressed?
I've suffered more!
You at least have period.
I know why it doesn't come. I...
I am pregnant.
It's a stomach ache, right?
You're crazy! It's a life! Look!
It's moving.
- Has it kicked you again? - Right.
Congratulations.
Nuts!
We are buddies, show some care to me, okay?
Take it.
Thank you! Is it for milk powder?
No, just take it for abortion.
How can you treat me like this?
This is how you treated your girl.
I gave birth to a piece of barbecued pork in my dream.
Are you kidding me?
Fung, I really want to do something for you.
But my boss wants to cut budget.
Only 4 DJs are left, and three salesmen can stay behind.
How can they call for more advertisements?
I really want to continue
my show in your station.
I am sorry, Fung.
We'll still get a chance to work for the field.
Joe, I'm sure you're the only one to treasure me.
Why not try me, okay?
Try me, come on.
Try me. Okay?
Do you change your number?
- No, I don't. - I'll call you for tea, okay?
Joe, can you give yourself a chance?
And give me a chance too.
Here is Tom Kan again.
This is your show, "When men know women".
Someone said, after Adam and Eve were created by God,
the fight between men and women never stops.
Why should they fight?
If they try to shift their parts...
Say, the men would think like women, try to be considerate,
the war between them
would sure be stopped.
Life is never a fair game.
The gifted persons are always ignored.
Though some people treasure fun most in their lives,
we have to remember one thing.
More joy, more harms.
So we must always remember,
sudden glimpse doesn't last forever.
If you have any bad feelings
or any complaints against me,
Call and voice out, I am waiting for you.
Where is the manager?
He is out, please wait for a while.
He sits to piss!
I won't host the midnight show anymore,
I want the prime time show.
Who do you think you are?
Fernando, I was too arrogant before.
But I changed, I work so hard now.
About the show I created, "The True Man's Show",
The audiences like it
so much, you know?
That's not the point.
We just care about rating.
Tom Kan's show is on the top of the rating chart.
But yours? I am sorry, it's out of 10.
When I hosted the prime time programme, I achieved top rating too.
You're not fair to me.
You always know that! No fair game is found in this field.
Last chance.
Boss, give me a last chance.
I am sure I can make my show very popular.
For what?
I want to give a surprise to the audiences.
I want an outdoor broadcast for the last episode.
It's a waste of money and labor force, it's not special too.
The most special thing is,
I want Tom Kan to do it with me.
The two of us appear in the show,
it'll be a great attraction.
Why don't you ask Tom Cruise to work with you?
You just want a star to promote for you.
Fung!
Fernando!
I know I don't suit you.
But let me tell you, Tom Kan doesn't suit you too.
What did you say?
I know a big secret of Tom Kan.
If you pass the OB show, I'll tell you his secret.
What is it?
What?
Tom, I want to talk to you.
Me too.
No... There is really nothing.
What did I dump?
Well...
I want you to host an OB show with Fung.
It's a great promotion for you.
You've already worked here for a month, right? You need promotion.
But I just want to tell you that I'd like to quit.
Young men, you should work consistently!
Forget it, you have your choice.
You're talented, I can't keep you anyway.
I wish you all the best.
Cancel the OB show, no special guest.
Ask Kitty not to come.
Will Kitty be the special guest?
If you do it, then she'll be the special guest,
if you don't, there will be no special guest.
I'll do it...
What do you want?
You turned down my proposal just then.
So I asked them not
to call Kitty to come.
Now you said you'd do it,
so I have to invite Kitty again.
What the hell is it?
If you want to quit again,
so I must stop Kitty to come.
Now you want to do it, I have to invite Kitty again.
Who will do it? I will do it, okay?
I am the senior executive of the station.
I win the
"10 Most Trendy Persons Award" every year.
I'd do it.
I have faith,
I am sure it'll be a great show.
Once I experienced true love.
But I haven't treasured it at all.
I wish I could start it all over again...
Then I will tell her...
I love you.
How is it?
I am really touched.
So?
It's nothing new, but it's touching.
You're lucky! There is only one day left.
I'll have no chance, so I just want to deliver my baby.
I wish it would be a filial child.
I will be the baby's God mother.
Thank you.
Come on, we still have one day, we still have chance.
Come on!
Okay!
Excuse me, I want to leave a message.
It's a call from Bo, please tell her that I am missing her.
Please leave a message.
I wish she would come to see me at the Olympic City.
Last night, the messenger from hell told me in my dream...
there is one day left.
If we can't fix it...
we will have no dick for the rest of our lives.
But I tell myself, although we'll be lacking of it,
we must live with pride and courage.
Our lives will still go on...
Is my necklace nice looking? It's bought in Tsangtao.
What gimmick do you have?
Yeah, say something about today's show, okay?
You'll know it later,
I promise, it'll satisfy all of you.
It'll be tomorrow's headline.
- You're something! - Say more to us please...
How can you make Tom Kan be your guest? You're great!
We are friends, that's all.
Say something more, come on!
You'll know how interesting it will be.
Welcome,
welcome to our show!
The last episode of "The True Man's Show" will start soon,
please welcome
our special guest with a big hand...
Tom Kan!
Tom Kan...
Tom Kan is the special guest of our show,
it's because I want to bring you a big surprise.
I want to disclose a big secret to you all.
This guy is an eunuch, a monster!
It's because he is a man with no dick!
You...
I can prove it!
He has no dick!
You lied! You lied!
Down with eunuch!
Down with a man with no dick!
Down with eunuch!
Why are you so happy?
I am sure the OB show today
will be a very successful one.
That's why I am happy and I laughed.
Tom Kan will come, right?
Don't you want him not to come?
I just want him to... die!
I'll ask Tom to have an interview with me.
This will be the last chapter of our episode.
Got you.
You look nervous.
Yes, I am really nervous.
Just take it as a show inside the studio.
Just ignore the audiences.
Relax.
No, I am thinking of Kitty.
Well, she will come, she called me.
She told me that she would come.
But she didn't tell me the exact time.
I think she is going to give you a surprise.
This is the last day.
Welcome, everybody.
Thank you for
joining us...
Now, we have Fung to start the show.
Welcome you guys.
Thank you for your support to our show.
Foon's finally met
the greatest rival in his life.
Now, on this stage, they will have a duel...
Let's welcome my rival, Tom Kan.
Hello, I am Tom Kan.
This is my first time as well as the last time to host an OB show.
People always call to scold me,
I can't imagine that you'd welcome me here with your big hand.
Welcome, everybody.
You must be anxious
to hear the ending.
But I would like to tell you something more interesting.
Do you know why
I invited Tom to be my guest?
I want to give all of you a big surprise.
I want to disclose a big secret!
This guy is an eunuch, a monster!
It's because he is a man with no dick.
- I don't have any too. - Me too.
That's right.
I did tell the truth! I really told you the truth!
He has no dick.
No one would trust you!
I'll prove it to you.
What are you doing here? Hands off...
Kitty, are you here?
Have you come, Kitty?
- I came here for you. - CiCi...
Kitty...
CiCi...
Listen to me please.
I am trash!
You financed me to open a pet shop,
I didn't even say thank you.
I made you pregnant and
I gave you a hundred for the abortion.
Now I know...
I really want to be the baby's father.
I really want to be a responsible man.
Give me a chance please.
I am sorry, Cici...
Kitty...
Let me...Give it to me...
Ruby, I am sorry, I've been too arrogant!
I am not good at flattering you, I speak poor Cantonese...
But, I love you.
- I love you! - Okay, she understands it.
- I want to have babies with you. - It's my turn...
I miss you.
- Ruby. -Kitty!
- I've done much for you. - Bastard!
Come on! Take a look!
As I said, it'll be great!
Let's enjoy the ending!
Yes, I have lost my dick.
No, the three of us lost our dicks.
This isn't our wish.
One month ago,
we fell in hell accidentally.
Yes, we took a minibus to hell, it's horrible.
Let me go on, okay?
A girl...
It doesn't matter to be in hell or not.
We don't mind losing our dicks either.
What I want to say now...
I was so shameless
to tell a girl I love...
I forced her to say...
"l love you".
In fact...
It's really hard...
It's really hard
to make a woman say "l love you".
Kitty,
I love you.
How come it's a happy ending?
Never mind, please stay...
We do have another surprise for you.
No, I have dick...
Take off his trousers...
CiCi...
I return this one hundred dollar note to you.
You return me money? Come beat me.
Scold me, I am trash, l...
I am so wicked! I shouldn't have figured out such...
Wait, didn't you spend it?
Why?
I want the baby.
How old is it?
Four months.
So I am going to be a father soon.
CiCi
I am going to be a father soon.
I love you.
I love you, too.
It's with you, huh?
I'll shoot some more footages.
Give me a chance.
I don't understand English.
I love you.
I love you!
So we can have fun in bed again?
I feel something down there.
It's weird!
It's like a compass.
I love you.
Three bad guys have gone straight now.
They all have happy endings.
Don't you think there is no messenger from hell?
If you treat women badly,
mind your dick...
I am the messenger from hell...